With the decision by the Iowa Supreme Court to legalize same-sex marriage without the consent of the governed, I have returned to thinking about the ways in which we have undermined the way in which children are raised in our society. To my mind, all of these phenomena, from abortion, to the single-mom of octuplets, to the normalization of homosexuality share the same selfish, adult-centered view of sexual union. For thousands of years, there was widespread agreement that the point of the family, at least from the view of the wider society, was to provide a mechanism for the proper education and training of children. Now it seems that the main purpose of the 'family' is to provide romantic fulfillment for whatever sexual preference the adult has. Where does this end?

When I was growing up, there was great social stigma associated with being an unwed mother. Rightly or wrongly, such young women generally 'disappeared' and we didn't see them again in our social circles. Life was hard for them and they undoubtedly had no leisure for the rather light hearted society of the rest of us teenagers.

When our children were growing up, it was not surprising to hear of an out-of-wedlock teen pregnancy; many young women stayed in school and had their babies and were looked on almost as heroines. Much effort seemed to go into providing them with emotional and other kinds of support. It was unremarkable to see unmarried couples living together.

Now that our grandchildren are growing up, we see same-sex couples living together openly, adopting or having children, soon marrying and giving in marriage, and this will probably come to be seen as normal almost everywhere.

What lies in store for our great grandchildren? I suspect that by then, what we thought of as 'normal' marriages will seem strange, quirky or just old-fashioned and traditional - like the Amish or the Mennonites. 'Marriage' will apply to any sexual union of any number of adults of any genders. I can hardly imagine how difficult it will be. Even now, I can hardly imagine how difficult it is for our grandchildren, who see all around them, and daily on TV and in movies, the 'normalization' of what used to be 'illicit' sexual relationships, whether heterosexual or homosexual. Maranatha!

There are still people who are horrified by all of this. I came across this poem recently, which succinctly makes most of the case against abortion. It was in, of all things, a publication from Bellevue Hospital in NY.

My Friend Paul Says

My friend Paul says abortion
and prenatal testing are necessary
to prevent the birth of babies
who have something seriously
wrong with them like X
and I say, I have X.

Paul says, Obviously, not people like you.
I often make faces and wonder
if just one muscle stayed tense for good
if I slurred my speech, if I stuttered,
if I could not swallow, which variable
would make me less worthy of living?

Dominika Bednarska

When it happened in Massachusetts, I thought we were safe for a while still in Iowa. The effect of this on instruction in the schools is frightening to contemplate.